(WARNING: I haven't proofread this, very rough, sorry.)
I sometimes wonder if growing up is all that it's cracked up to be.
Where school used to be the great "pull-everyone-together" it now is one of the main reasons we're all so far apart.
Some people have said that life is just a bigger high school. I'm still uncertain if I would want to agree with them, but I know there are a lot more secrets kept now than before. Is it because now we're adults and our problems seem bigger, or not so easy to fix?
Is this why the closest of friends don't know what the others are feeling/thinking? Is this why adult friends can not accurately say what's going on in the others lives besides, "they're doing fine"
Is this what being an adult and being friends is like?
I don't like it.
That being said. . . I'm the worst offender. Instead of trying to be the bigger person, instead of trying to communicate the problems/issues as most "healthy" adults are supposed to, I bottle it up. I ignore it. I give it one shot and give up because I feel that it's "unfair" that I should be the only one trying.
I know I'm not the greatest person socially. Despite what it may seem, I am socially awkward in most situations. I just don't say it, I'm so nerve-wracked. In most social situations, I worry so bad that I want to clam up and can't wait for it be over. My life has become quite shuttered.
It hurts so bad that this is what it feels like now between friends. It should never feel this way.
Sugar-covered, candy-coated teardrops on my sunset heart. ~*~ Penny for your thoughts?
